From Rachel Matthews....
I have had four pregnancies and three deliveries, three sons. Two of these pregnancies were delivered during the week before Christmas. I was preaching in a small church during the first pregnancy. By the time the Advent season was upon us, I could not wear my white alb at all, only the black Geneva robe that is supposed to hide all things human. Except that it did not hide the large bump that unbalanced my five foot two frame. I could not hide the fact that I was pregnant. Mary ended up in a few sermons that year. The Word made flesh was upon us all. It was too much for one man in my congregation to see a pregnant woman in the pulpit. He stopped coming. I was sad that he left and tried not to take it personally. I guess it was too much to see up close and personal how the Christ-bearer was a flesh and blood woman which made Jesus much too real.
I have had four pregnancies and three deliveries, three sons. Two of these pregnancies were delivered during the week before Christmas. I was preaching in a small church during the first pregnancy. By the time the Advent season was upon us, I could not wear my white alb at all, only the black Geneva robe that is supposed to hide all things human. Except that it did not hide the large bump that unbalanced my five foot two frame. I could not hide the fact that I was pregnant. Mary ended up in a few sermons that year. The Word made flesh was upon us all. It was too much for one man in my congregation to see a pregnant woman in the pulpit. He stopped coming. I was sad that he left and tried not to take it personally. I guess it was too much to see up close and personal how the Christ-bearer was a flesh and blood woman which made Jesus much too real.
I thought it was really neat to experience a different side of Mary. I had heard plenty about the demur young Mary pictured in art with a saintly crown on her head, a diminutive being powerless to God’s activity around her. Yet, pregnancy is empowering. I learned how strong my body was as Mary’s must have been. Mary’s body transformed the food she ate and the air she breathed. Her cells divided into a separate, living being. She shared water and air, flesh and blood with this other being until life was ready to enter the world. She knew how to wait and act at the very same time. That life was kicking to get out, poking knees and elbows in awkward places. Until it was time to let go, her body was stretched and contorted and uncomfortable. Her body, receptive as it was, created, gave, and delivered. It was her body. Mary created, gave and delivered in tandem with God’s call.
I never want to be exclusive about the experience of pregnancy, however. I appreciated how our author reminds us that Mary can symbolize for all of us how to embody the Christ, how we embody love. Last night I was at a yoga class. We were invited to breath, to notice our bodies, to connect our bodies and breath and spirit. Love comes from us. We hold it and give it at the very same time. It can be uncomfortable and stretch us but it lives well after it comes out of us.
This past month I have been on the receiving end of love. This new community I am entering has offered food, guidance, and friendship. I am so grateful for it! It really is life-giving in this time of transition into a new state, house, and church. I can hardly wait to see what develops and what part I will play.
Dear God, as our hearts expand and grow with your spirit of love, may our hands and feet reach out to others who need us to serve them, walk with them, partner with them. May you be our guide. May loving kindness be our friend. Amen.
Rachel, what a wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI first encountered the idea of God-bearer the author (Heidi Havercamp) describes in our book when I was a woman who was suffering from infertility working in youth ministry. It was a raw time in my life, but eventually I discovered that I could indeed bear God to the world in my work and ministry with the youth of our church. In sharing the rawness of it all, my yearnings to grow a child in my own, very empty womb, I discovered other ways of bearing Christ. Offering hope, comfort, listening ears and presence to our youth was life-giving, not only to our youth, but healed in myself an open raw wound.
After 9 years of marriage the joy we felt when God worked a miracle in my own womb, was overwhelming. And the first people we shared the news with were the youth who had indeed become our own kids. They were so thrilled for us, and they were witnesses to a God who answers prayers. Not always in our time or the way we imagined, but God does indeed answer.
Bearing Christ to the youth of our church was such a privilege and a wonderful ministry I adored.
But it is not the only time I know I am called to bear Christ. This Lenten season I am trying to listen a bit more to how God is calling me at this time and place to bear the love of Christ to the world. Now if only I could quiet my thoughts so I could hear how God is whispering his love and call this very day.
I don't know if I am doing this correctly with typing a comment here. After some soul-searching about fasting and almsgiving, I entered my thoughts but then goofed somehow with the submission of them. So now they are in the ether-net of my mind.
DeleteMany years ago, while attending UW-Madison graduate school I met two guys in biochemistry 602. I was friends with both, but I really, really liked the quiet one. Eventually we dated and during one of our conversations I found out that he had been raised in the Southern Baptist tradition, but became a "fence sitter" (agnostic) during graduate school. He had had many discussions with the other graduate students in his lab, one of whom had been in training to become a Catholic priest. I was in a dilemma; I really, really liked him but I wasn't sure about the differences in faith. It was scary talking about God because many times the things he said made sense!
When I went back to Michigan for winter break I went to talk to the pastor of the church I had attended for several years. However, before the time of the meeting, Ken had come to Michigan for a visit and proposed to me! Oh, oh now what? I accepted with a little trepidation - but I really, really liked him. I kept the appointment with Pastor Bingham. I don't remember the details of the conversation, but it centered around Ken and his change of faith, my feelings for him and "what do I do?". The one thing I remember clearly was the Pastor Bingham telling me that all the talking, quoting the Bible, etc., etc., probably would not have an effect. The important thing to do was to "live my faith".
What a BIG challenge to undertake for a person who had some faith, but often was afraid to share for fear of the other person destroying it! Especially since my mother-in-law-to-be wanted me to "bring him back to the faith"!
Well, I did the only things I could think of to demonstrate what I believed in, even if my faith was a childlike faith. We have now been married for 37 1/2 years. Ken jumped off the fence when the boys were quite small and has had God back in his heart. I will not take credit for the change, for he had some co-workers in a lab who demonstrated their faith despite the difficult situation they were in. But maybe I did bear Christ in some small way.
Bearing Christ can be done in many ways. Some are able to do it better and on a larger scale than others, but that is okay. I have to just figure out what God wants me to do in my small ways and be willing to do it.
Namaste
Kena Jo
Thank you so much for sharing. You did it perfectly. I love how all our journeys are different yet have drawn us closer to God along the way.
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