Lenten Holy Solitude retreat 2018

From Rachel Matthews - Today I have been chopping, measuring, mixing, cooking, mixing some more, kneading, baking, waiting, waiting, tasting, arranging, cleaning, preparing.....and preparing....for guests. It is what you do at a funeral. Either you are preparing to serve and comfort the bereaved or, as the bereaved, you are preparing to receive the community, the family, the loved ones to walk with you to the grave and back again. Holy Saturday feels like the days before a funeral. Suspended between death and life, you just carry on. You work, as usual, but not. That's what the women who loved the Rabbi were doing: preparing the spices, arranging the body (Christ's body), wrapping, loving and weeping, and waiting, and waiting and preparing....for guests. I am giddy thinking about the surprise that awaited them - the Guest!! And, I am giddy waiting for our guests to come to our home. My boys won't be here, so there is grief. I miss them so much. But, the new Amer

Betty Hollister writes: Suspended.  Waiting.  Frozen.  On this Saturday we are caught between the agony of the crucifixion and the glory of resurrection.  In some traditions today is called Holy Saturday, Black Saturday, Sad Saturday, or even Silent Saturday.  I think I like Silent Saturday best.  For many today is the day to color the eggs and start cooking the Easter feast. But this study has certainly reminded us that whatever you call this day, it should be a time to reflect on how alone the “human Jesus” must have felt. This entire Lenten study has led up to this moment.  This week Haverkamp stresses the outcomes of solitude. She reminds us of the social changes influenced by people like Martin Luther King, Jr. or Nelson Mandela who wrote about freedom, peace and justice while they were being denied those very concepts during confinement.  Perhaps one of Haverkamp’s most moving contributions is the one about solitary confinement.  The quote from Five Omar Mualimmak-Ak,  “I was

I don’t know how to feel today. I wasn’t sure what to expect at worship last evening, but I just knew I had to be there. To be with my community of faith and share the feast of the Lord’s Supper. For those of you able to be there, it was a feast, wasn’t it? A feast of bread and cup, of music, of psalms, of inspiration, reminding us that these words the words on our Lord’s lips as he died. Which brings us to today. I just don’t what I am supposed to feel. I am raw and the emotions are close to the surface. At work I couldn’t concentrate, so I busied myself with cleaning up until it was time to go to church. Noontime. I am grateful for noon worship services. The time when our Lord was on the cross, we gathered to remember. To remember our part in all of this. But also, to remember his love. Were you there? Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. And yet, I am home, having been with my people remembering and I remember that Christ was on the cross

From Eric Corbin... As I write, I have just returned from the joint Good Friday service with First Methodist Church.  Their pastor read from Luke's account of the crucifixion of Jesus, ending at verse 34 of chapter 23: "Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.'"  We also heard a wonderful soloist sing from "Sweet Little Jesus Boy" the haunting words "We didn't know it was you." I'm reminded of this meme: I think we all feel that way sometimes, maybe often.  We don't know what we're doing in our families, our jobs, in our churches.  On this day, though, we must reflect specifically on the cross and our role in Jesus' death; on how we don't know what we're doing when it comes to Jesus. "Sweet Little Jesus Boy" continues: You have shown us how And we are trying Master you have shown us how Even when you were dying Just seems like we can't do right Lo

Posting from Rachel Matthews - Two Tuesdays ago I sat quietly thinking about Catherine of Siena and her three by nine foot closet. I thought how her resistance, her intense desire to be a contemplative nun rather than marry, her harsh behaviors and significant visions of Jesus might be interpreted if she were to have lived today. She might be considered a rebellious youth, a young woman fighting covertly against the hierarchical systems of her day. She might have been diagnosed by a mental health professional as someone with OCD or ODD behaviors. Someone might have questioned her attitude and behaviors as a response to trauma as a young child and who is now having intense emotional reactions to that trauma as a teenager. How was it that God was given credit for her self violence and strong inclination toward justice for others. It is curious to me. Perhaps all things do work toward good for those that love the Lord. Perhaps God gets credit for the redemption of her life and not the p

Solitary confinement is one of the harshest treatments in prison life. Researching the intersection of faith and solitary confinement, the image of a person stretching out her arms to demonstrate how large the cell was struck me. If one stands upright with arms outstretched to touch the walls, the image is reminiscent of crucifixion. Religious workers are trying to reduce the amount of time prisoners are able to be sentenced to spend in solitary. One article noted:  “Once you’ve stood inside the cell and heard the sounds of an actual solitary confinement unit echoing in your very being, it becomes very hard to forget or to ignore,” said the Rev. Kate Edwards, a Zen Buddhist in Madison, Wis. “The reality that solitary confinement is a loud and torturous living hell simply becomes undeniable.” http://www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/faith-and-values/interfaith-activists-call-solitary-confinement-immoral-ineffective/article_e9ca8716-bb60-5f7d-a4dd-355b5a95108e.html Nelson Mandela, who

Monday – Holy Week Daniel is one character from the Old Testament that remains predominantly the lore of children’s stories. I remember singing with my kids the catchy children’s songs when the lessons would come home from Sunday School. Daniel as a character for adults though is not often considered. The story is colorful, full of wonderful descriptions and has a clear moral lesson…be true to God and God will rescue the faithful. In reading today, I have to admit my white point of view, when I never considered (as the book reminds us) how slave spirituals would hold up Daniel as a man of God and hope for their desperate situations. In our world today (and especially with so much news coming at us 24 hours a day with the most salacious details getting national news) people who live with integrity and follow as God commands are not lifted up at all. Two quotes from author Havercamp stood out to me today: “The story of Daniel is about being who God made us to be and knowing

Many years ago when I lived in California, I joined an organization that reached out to inmates in the federal prisons such as San Quentin, Folsom and CMF (California Medical Facility) in Vacaville.  CMF is the flagship correctional facility where prisoners with specialized medical needs such as HIV/AIDS and mental illness are held; for example Charles Manson was housed in CMF for years before transferred to San Quentin.  During our on-site training at CMF, we were escorted by guards inside the entire facility.  We saw the over-crowded open cell dormitories, the level three single occupant and heavily guarded cells occupied by Manson and alike, the pharmacy and hospital rooms filled with prisoners suffering from HIV/AIDS; we experienced two “lockdown” situations.  During a “lockdown”, the sirens blare loudly, all the doors and gates are closed, and inmates stay inside their cells.  Everyone except uniformed correctional officers must stand inside the yellow line against the wall or ma

Betty Hollister shares: Lots of swirly thoughts this week, but they are, for the most part, disjointed and unsettling.  The most consistent battle I have had with this study is the  guilt :  guilt that I am never going to live in a three-by-nine foot closet; guilt that I am never going to travel for days into the mountains enduring physical hardships to meet God, guilt that I can’t even work up a desire to fast on a Friday.  I refuse to feel the slightest bit guilty that I won’t beat myself as penance.  I am one of those people who tends to take on the “guilt of the world,” but I am not even tempted with that practice.  Most of the last five weeks, I have just been thinking what an odd collection of people to use as inspiration.  BUT, as I have admitted repeatedly, this whole study has made me think.  So, once I get past the guilt and look at this week’s contributions, I am struck by the contrasting emotion of peace. Can we feel guilty and still feel at peace? When can guilt be a h

I recently discovered a website to help people develop sustainable practices in their spiritual life. One recent post by James Foster (on the website Renovare )talked about the reason this particular study appealed to me:  "Spiritual practices are not something to be conquered. For those of us caught up in a long list of to-dos, soul care can be difficult and counterintuitive. The key is doing acts before God, as a movement of submission, as a little death to self and having our own way. The practicing of intentional spiritual disciplines trains our heart and mind into new habits, allowing God to enter into the ordinary and mundane. And while practical habits with how we spend our time will emerge, the real habits we are looking for is the fruit of the spirit. Where we become people who naturally live lives of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. We become a people conformed and transformed into the image of Jesus Christ.&q

from Eric Corbin... The selection for today in Holy Solitude  speaks of more than one topic, but the one that captures me today is the issue of Christian-Muslim relations.  I'd like to set aside Charles's "cringe-worthy letters" (as Haverkamp describes them) to focus on how our congregation (and others) are embracing (or not) our Muslim neighbors.  I was once told by a very devout Christian "all Muslims are out to kill us."  I asked him if he personally knew any Muslims, and he said that he did not.  I replied that the Muslims I knew personally were kind and loving people.  Interpersonal relationships with others are key to understanding and acceptance.  I'm grateful for the work of the Champaign County Interfaith Alliance in creating space for such relationships to begin and grow.  I'm glad that our congregation has hosted seminars about Islam and has visited the local mosque at their invitation.  I'm excited that Imam Ousmane Sawadago will be

In today’s reflection, author Havercamp writes about Howard Thurmon and his writings about withstanding violence with strength. Thurmon’s writing influenced Martin Luther King Jr., so much so that he kept a copy of Thurmon’s book with him during the Montgomery bus strike. I was struck today by the image of Thurmon as a boy watching a giant oak (I am imagining one of those huge Live Oak trees found in the South) during a storm, where the tree was able to withstand the toss of the wind. Withstanding storms is not the same as being a doormat and allowing violence within one's life. There is a line between abuse and strength. Thurmon is writing about strength of character and spiritual backbone and being able to stand up to the forces of society.   Thurmon’s concept of strength to withstand storms, especially in today’s political climate resonated with me today. If one watches the news too much, we can get tossed around in the mental wind, not knowing what to believe, unsure of

John the Baptist and Jesus were so well grounded in their relationships with God that they found they had to withdraw from the world to reconnect with God. Their faith was strengthened when they were alone with God. Yet, I am not sure that this is the case for each of us. If we are not strong in our faith walk, I am not convinced that being alone helps. I know I need the church, the body of believers to keep my faith alive, be it in corporate worship, studying scripture, comforting one another, and supporting one another ("wherever two or three are gathered in my name" rings true for me.) I am sure that author Havercamp is in any was suggesting that being alone with God as an act of resistance that we do not need the body of believers to uphold us. But I do believe that sometimes the body, the Church, does not always help.  There are churches, like those to whom Paul wrote letters in the New Testament, that are toxic to some believers. Sometimes we are called out of the body

Holy Resistance and Restraint Today, we meditate about Holy Resistance and Restraint.   These are not native virtues we are born with, rather they need to be intentionally cultivated and developed. When I was a young boy growing up in the People’s Republic of China, Christian churches and activities were scrutinized and monitored by the government; many of the Christian workers, church leaders were persecuted, arrested, imprisoned and killed.   Many of our family and friends were among those that were affected by this decree.   Our living room was a busy gathering place where people came to meet and pray with my grandfather.   We were told to be quiet and not allowed to play in the living room, even though it was the only place my siblings and cousins usually play.   Occasionally we would sneak into the living room where the visitors and my grandfather were, we quietly watched them prayed kneeling, usually for hours.   We asked grandpa why we needed to be quiet and of what they