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Guilt, peace, and call

Betty Hollister shares:
Lots of swirly thoughts this week, but they are, for the most part, disjointed and unsettling.  The most consistent battle I have had with this study is the guilt:  guilt that I am never going to live in a three-by-nine foot closet; guilt that I am never going to travel for days into the mountains enduring physical hardships to meet God, guilt that I can’t even work up a desire to fast on a Friday.  I refuse to feel the slightest bit guilty that I won’t beat myself as penance.  I am one of those people who tends to take on the “guilt of the world,” but I am not even tempted with that practice.  Most of the last five weeks, I have just been thinking what an odd collection of people to use as inspiration.  BUT, as I have admitted repeatedly, this whole study has made me think.  So, once I get past the guilt and look at this week’s contributions, I am struck by the contrasting emotion of peace. Can we feel guilty and still feel at peace? When can guilt be a healthy thing to spur us to work harder for peace? As always we can find help in scripture.  2 Corinthians 7:11 MSG  And now, isn’t it wonderful all the ways in which this distress (guilt) has goaded you closer to God? You’re more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. A few quotes from this week’s study also have helped me wrestle with this concept.  
Catherine of Siena: Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire. p. 83
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr: Peace is not merely a distant goal that we see, but a means by which we arrive at that goal. p. 77
Thomas Merton: If you are yourself at peace, then there is at least some peace in the world…But I am not speaking of quietism… p. 75 
When I do some “solitary brooding” (Howard Thurmon) about these quotes, I do find some peace and focus about what God is calling me to do.  I don’t think God is calling me to live the life of a hermit or anchoress.  I think He is calling me to use whatever gifts or talents I have to teach a class on white privilege, try harder to speak up when I see examples of racism or bias by opening a conversation without judgment, and to practice the art of “waging peace with my listening.” (Judyth Hill)  I think that is plenty to work o

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