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Catching up

Posting from Rachel Matthews -

Two Tuesdays ago I sat quietly thinking about Catherine of Siena and her three by nine foot closet. I thought how her resistance, her intense desire to be a contemplative nun rather than marry, her harsh behaviors and significant visions of Jesus might be interpreted if she were to have lived today. She might be considered a rebellious youth, a young woman fighting covertly against the hierarchical systems of her day. She might have been diagnosed by a mental health professional as someone with OCD or ODD behaviors. Someone might have questioned her attitude and behaviors as a response to trauma as a young child and who is now having intense emotional reactions to that trauma as a teenager. How was it that God was given credit for her self violence and strong inclination toward justice for others. It is curious to me. Perhaps all things do work toward good for those that love the Lord. Perhaps God gets credit for the redemption of her life and not the pain of it. The quote she is remembered for, "Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire," says more about her than anything.

So I didn't get to write that two Tuesdays ago because I went from solitude to buying our new home which is a blessing and I am grateful. My silence was actually quite full. Solitude and respite from the chaos is a privilege when it is a choice. I like just "being." It always gives me more energy to go back into the world.

And, then this past Tuesday was about John of Patmos imprisoned on that island. I have always loved the book of Revelation. I have never gotten caught up in the fear of the future or the horror that will befall God's enemies. I have always thought of what good news John's vision was for those who were being tortured and denied freedom because of their belief in God. John's vision is cathartic and healing and a wonderful step into a new Jerusalem where tears, and pain and crying are no more. The Revelation is good news not something to fear. In fact, it is not fear or guilt that concludes our Lenten walk but resurrection.

So here we are at Maundy Thursday, a double symbol: a remembrance of the sacrifice of the first born and exodus of a beloved people to a promised land, a remembrance of the crucifixion of one who loved for others and a resurrection of that love for all time. It is no longer a Seder Feast but a Holy Meal with one who continues to serve and fill those who follow that love.

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